Ready...set...retrieve!
11/1
CD9
No appointment today.....I can sleep in!!!!!!!!!!!
Ganirelix in the AM
Follistim 450
Menopur 225
CD9
No appointment today.....I can sleep in!!!!!!!!!!!
Ganirelix in the AM
Follistim 450
Menopur 225
11/2
CD10
Ganirelix in the AM
Ultrasound & bloodwork check at Rockville
They had a hell of a time getting my blood again today. On Friday, they tried the right arm first, but it was being stubborn, so she kept digging. Well, today she didn't keep digging, but did switch to the left side.
I got to meet a fellow infertile at Starbucks! I was so excited to get to meet her and she is being a sweetheart and helping me out with some meds!!!!!!!!
Follistim 450
Menopur 225
Here's my folly count below: the sonographer thinks my retrieval will be on Wednesday. If you can't see it says right side: 14.3, 14.0, 9.2, and another 9.2. Left side is: 11.3, 14.8, 16.4, 14.0, 12.0, and 10.0.
CD10
Ganirelix in the AM
Ultrasound & bloodwork check at Rockville
They had a hell of a time getting my blood again today. On Friday, they tried the right arm first, but it was being stubborn, so she kept digging. Well, today she didn't keep digging, but did switch to the left side.
I got to meet a fellow infertile at Starbucks! I was so excited to get to meet her and she is being a sweetheart and helping me out with some meds!!!!!!!!
Follistim 450
Menopur 225
Here's my folly count below: the sonographer thinks my retrieval will be on Wednesday. If you can't see it says right side: 14.3, 14.0, 9.2, and another 9.2. Left side is: 11.3, 14.8, 16.4, 14.0, 12.0, and 10.0.
11/3
Ganirelix in the AM
CD11
Ultrasound & bloodwork in Leesburg
Another hard time with my veins! They tried the right side again and they can feel the vein, but when I get stuck, nothing comes out! She said it's in hibernation. I've never had issues with my veins and I even drank water the night before and day of to assist with that. Oh well!
Estradiol 904
Follistim 450
Menopur 225
Ganirelix in the AM
CD11
Ultrasound & bloodwork in Leesburg
Another hard time with my veins! They tried the right side again and they can feel the vein, but when I get stuck, nothing comes out! She said it's in hibernation. I've never had issues with my veins and I even drank water the night before and day of to assist with that. Oh well!
Estradiol 904
Follistim 450
Menopur 225
11/4
Ganirelix in the AM
CD12
Ultrasound & bloodwork in Leesburg
Original egg retrieval date
Estradiol 1200
I had them do my left arm instead of trying the right one first. Of course, the left one was fine and they got blood right away. I am shocked that I am not triggering tonight, but oh well. My nurse said my RE wants to get the others more mature for my progesterone was low.
At this office, this RE just measured the 8 biggest. My nurse said there were 12 ones looking good. I asked for a print out, but then that RE closed out of the ultrasound screen before printing it. He just said "Why do you want it?" And I said "I like to know what the numbers are." Then he replied "Well, you're going to trigger tonight."
Annnnnddddd, he was wrong.
Left side:
21.6, 21.2, 20.3, and 18.1
Right side:
19.6, 19.4, 16.7, and 15.9
Follistim 450
Menopur 225
11/5
Ganirelix in the AM
CD13
Ultrasound & bloodwork in Leesburg
Lining 12.36
Estradiol: 1513
HCG Trigger at 8 p.m.
I asked the RE about the really big follies since I don't remember having ones that were over 24mm. He said that at 24mm they can get "overly mature", but it depends on estradiol number. I'm hoping to get more than 8 mature on Friday. I had 8 mature out of 14 total collected. Those 8 all got fertilized with ICSI and then turned into 4 blasts. I do have the last frozen embryo left to send out for testing and I want to get as many embryos as I can. I am still paranoid that they will ALL come back with fatal abnormalities, but since this cycle was a lot different than the first time, I'm slightly more positive that the outcome will be different. Last time, I only stimmed for 10 days and then time it was 13 days of stimming.
Ganirelix in the AM
CD12
Ultrasound & bloodwork in Leesburg
Original egg retrieval date
Estradiol 1200
I had them do my left arm instead of trying the right one first. Of course, the left one was fine and they got blood right away. I am shocked that I am not triggering tonight, but oh well. My nurse said my RE wants to get the others more mature for my progesterone was low.
At this office, this RE just measured the 8 biggest. My nurse said there were 12 ones looking good. I asked for a print out, but then that RE closed out of the ultrasound screen before printing it. He just said "Why do you want it?" And I said "I like to know what the numbers are." Then he replied "Well, you're going to trigger tonight."
Annnnnddddd, he was wrong.
Left side:
21.6, 21.2, 20.3, and 18.1
Right side:
19.6, 19.4, 16.7, and 15.9
Follistim 450
Menopur 225
11/5
Ganirelix in the AM
CD13
Ultrasound & bloodwork in Leesburg
Lining 12.36
Estradiol: 1513
HCG Trigger at 8 p.m.
I asked the RE about the really big follies since I don't remember having ones that were over 24mm. He said that at 24mm they can get "overly mature", but it depends on estradiol number. I'm hoping to get more than 8 mature on Friday. I had 8 mature out of 14 total collected. Those 8 all got fertilized with ICSI and then turned into 4 blasts. I do have the last frozen embryo left to send out for testing and I want to get as many embryos as I can. I am still paranoid that they will ALL come back with fatal abnormalities, but since this cycle was a lot different than the first time, I'm slightly more positive that the outcome will be different. Last time, I only stimmed for 10 days and then time it was 13 days of stimming.
11/6
CD14
Take Zithromax pills at bedtime
I haven't been eating as much as I usually do...probably for the last 2-3 months. I guess ever since the end of August when I tried to lose weight. Anyways, I ate Potbelly's at 4:00 and didn't eat the rest of the night because I wasn't hungry. I did make the mistake of taking the Zithromax pills at 9 p.m. without a snack like what was recommended. I paid for it later because at 12:30 am, I had the worst diarrhea ever.
Here are the comparisons between March and November's fresh follicle sizes. The left sides of the photos are from March 2014.
CD14
Take Zithromax pills at bedtime
I haven't been eating as much as I usually do...probably for the last 2-3 months. I guess ever since the end of August when I tried to lose weight. Anyways, I ate Potbelly's at 4:00 and didn't eat the rest of the night because I wasn't hungry. I did make the mistake of taking the Zithromax pills at 9 p.m. without a snack like what was recommended. I paid for it later because at 12:30 am, I had the worst diarrhea ever.
Here are the comparisons between March and November's fresh follicle sizes. The left sides of the photos are from March 2014.
Egg Retrieval #2
My fellow infertile and college friend made this awesome photo for me! She sent it to me the night before! I love it!
11/7
CD15
Egg retrieval at 8:00 a.m....be there at 6 am
So we were the first to arrive around 5:53 am, but I was the 3rd in line scheduled for my ER.
Everything went normally with the prep and all that. The anesticist said it was normal to have diarrhea after the Zithromax because those 2 pills are equivalent to a 5 day dose. Even though I had the diarrhea for a while before that, I guess he didn't care, but that's that lol.
As I was laying there and waiting for them to let me pee 10 minutes before taking me to the OR, I can hear all the conversations the nurses have behind the curtains. I was surprised to hear that another couple was really late for their ER. Apparently, and this I overheard the whole time while I was laying on the stretcher. They commented that she was late and then the one nurse stated that they didn't have a cell number for her. It was just marked home.
Listening to this, I said out-loud by accident "Just call that number". Hahahaha That's what I get for having nothing to do. They called this girl and said she was supposed to be there at 6:00 for a 7:30 ER. Well, they called her at 7:00 am and she was still on the highway. She told the nurses that she thought her nurse told her yesterday to come at 7:30.
I get that there's curtains between everyone waiting and there's no 'real' privacy, but I felt badly for this girl. I know they tell you a million times what time you are supposed to be there, but with all the directions, meds, and stuff to remember, if you don't write it down, you can screw your memory up really well. It really is so much and you become an experience-educated RE, nurse, and therapist trying to figure everything out.
I bet she was driving when the nurses told her when to trigger and then the other stuff and she didn't write it down.
When I came out of the OR, I heard them call her name and she was after me then before me...so that was good that she did get there. How stressful on an already stressful day!
11/7
CD15
Egg retrieval at 8:00 a.m....be there at 6 am
So we were the first to arrive around 5:53 am, but I was the 3rd in line scheduled for my ER.
Everything went normally with the prep and all that. The anesticist said it was normal to have diarrhea after the Zithromax because those 2 pills are equivalent to a 5 day dose. Even though I had the diarrhea for a while before that, I guess he didn't care, but that's that lol.
As I was laying there and waiting for them to let me pee 10 minutes before taking me to the OR, I can hear all the conversations the nurses have behind the curtains. I was surprised to hear that another couple was really late for their ER. Apparently, and this I overheard the whole time while I was laying on the stretcher. They commented that she was late and then the one nurse stated that they didn't have a cell number for her. It was just marked home.
Listening to this, I said out-loud by accident "Just call that number". Hahahaha That's what I get for having nothing to do. They called this girl and said she was supposed to be there at 6:00 for a 7:30 ER. Well, they called her at 7:00 am and she was still on the highway. She told the nurses that she thought her nurse told her yesterday to come at 7:30.
I get that there's curtains between everyone waiting and there's no 'real' privacy, but I felt badly for this girl. I know they tell you a million times what time you are supposed to be there, but with all the directions, meds, and stuff to remember, if you don't write it down, you can screw your memory up really well. It really is so much and you become an experience-educated RE, nurse, and therapist trying to figure everything out.
I bet she was driving when the nurses told her when to trigger and then the other stuff and she didn't write it down.
When I came out of the OR, I heard them call her name and she was after me then before me...so that was good that she did get there. How stressful on an already stressful day!
Egg Retrieval Results
They got 17 eggs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yayyyyy! It was 1 more than I suspected because I didn't get the final folly count the last few ultrasounds.
Right now, I'm feeling sore...not really crampy actually. I'm having a hard time peeing and pushing lol. I took the Vicodin at the surgery center and I had the nurse give me the pain meds through the IV since my pain level was about a 6 out of 10.
We did go to IHOP for breakfast around 10:00 and so far so good with the pain not being excruciating or anything. I'm going to spend the day relaxing and keeping a heating pad on.
I don't feel bloated now which is good because with the diarrhea and bloating, it was like my stomach area didn't know what to do.
11/8
Day 1 of embryo growth
Start Provera pills to begin a period.
Feeling sore today, but not a ton. I was able to put up Thanksgiving decorations around the house. I hadn't been home in over a week!
My RE called me to say that out of 17 eggs collected, 14 were mature and fertilized with ICSI! Those 14 turned into 12 embryos! WOW! I was NOT expecting double digits! He said the biopsies will be done on days 5 or 6 and then the results will be available in 2-3 days or a week at the max! That is a LOT quicker than I was told before!
My RE said he checked out my follies from last fresh cycle and wanted to give me another day to let them grow. That was a totally awesome call on his part because I ended up with 82% mature versus 57% last time. In March, I had 14 eggs collected and 8 were mature and fertilized. Those 8 turned into 4 blasts....3 of which have been fatally abnormal. I still have that one little frozen guy left.
11/9
Provera pill
Day 2 of embryo growth: they like them to be 3-5 cells today.
12 embryos still developing!!!
Sore: hurts to push when I pee
11/10
Provera pill
Day 3 of embryo growth: they like them to be 6-10 cells today.
All 12 embryos are still developing! 2 are a little slower than the others, so 10 are developing well!
Still sore: hurts to push when I pee
11/11
Provera pill
Day 4 of embryo growth. They won't take the day 4 embryos out because they are at their most fragile state.
Right now, I'm feeling sore...not really crampy actually. I'm having a hard time peeing and pushing lol. I took the Vicodin at the surgery center and I had the nurse give me the pain meds through the IV since my pain level was about a 6 out of 10.
We did go to IHOP for breakfast around 10:00 and so far so good with the pain not being excruciating or anything. I'm going to spend the day relaxing and keeping a heating pad on.
I don't feel bloated now which is good because with the diarrhea and bloating, it was like my stomach area didn't know what to do.
11/8
Day 1 of embryo growth
Start Provera pills to begin a period.
Feeling sore today, but not a ton. I was able to put up Thanksgiving decorations around the house. I hadn't been home in over a week!
My RE called me to say that out of 17 eggs collected, 14 were mature and fertilized with ICSI! Those 14 turned into 12 embryos! WOW! I was NOT expecting double digits! He said the biopsies will be done on days 5 or 6 and then the results will be available in 2-3 days or a week at the max! That is a LOT quicker than I was told before!
My RE said he checked out my follies from last fresh cycle and wanted to give me another day to let them grow. That was a totally awesome call on his part because I ended up with 82% mature versus 57% last time. In March, I had 14 eggs collected and 8 were mature and fertilized. Those 8 turned into 4 blasts....3 of which have been fatally abnormal. I still have that one little frozen guy left.
11/9
Provera pill
Day 2 of embryo growth: they like them to be 3-5 cells today.
12 embryos still developing!!!
Sore: hurts to push when I pee
11/10
Provera pill
Day 3 of embryo growth: they like them to be 6-10 cells today.
All 12 embryos are still developing! 2 are a little slower than the others, so 10 are developing well!
Still sore: hurts to push when I pee
11/11
Provera pill
Day 4 of embryo growth. They won't take the day 4 embryos out because they are at their most fragile state.
Welp...I wasn't expecting that
11/12
Provera pill
Day 5 of embryo growth
Sore: pushing to pee is still hurting
Well, they didn't call me until 4:00. I even called after school to see what was up. I was told that on biopsy days, they call later in the afternoon. Good to know now when I've been waiting all day.
My RE called and said we had 2 fully expanded blasts.
Yes, out of 12, we got 2.
I was fucking pissed. "That's it?" I asked.
He did say there are 5 that need another day to develop and I could have more.
Right now, I am so disappointed. I wasn't asking for double digits, but I was thinking 4-6 maybe from the 12.
2? Fuckkkk
I do have that other frozen, so they biopsied all 3 today.
It's such a roller coaster. I know I can stay positive and think that those 5 could add up to a few more embryos, but Jesus! I can't get over going from 12 to 2.
I took 2 Ativans when I got home. The anxiety was too much. I know next week waiting for the results is going to be hell.
I already told my husband that I'm done with IVF if all these embryos come back abnormal. I've gone back and forth about when to be done.
It is so hard to give up on your dream, but if you've tried everything you can and it doesn't work out, you need to look at other possibilities. I am totally for adoption, but my husband is not.
You must think about the future and we all do: it's easy to think what happens when shit hits the fan.
Can I really give up on IVF when I have a money back guarantee? When is enough, enough?
11/13
Provera pill
Day 6 of embryo growth
They will biopsied 4 fresh blasts and 1 frozen from the previous cycle today. They sent the cells to the IVIGEN lab in Miami.
11/14
Provera pill
11/15
Provera pill
11/16
Provera pill
11/17
Last Provera pill
11/19
I took 2 Ativans today because I was feeling really anxious thinking about when I'm going to get the call about my embryos.
So I called IVIGEN in Miami and they said they received the biopsies on Tuesday, November 18th. I assumed my clinic sent them on Friday, Nov 14th.
Anyway, IVIGEN said that the results would take 1 week. Uggghh!! The anxiety is driving me insane!
11/20
CD1
Very heavy period! Wow! I was soaking through 2 super tampons...that has NEVER happened! I always put a liner/pad under a tampon and today I was soaked through both by 11:30! Sheesh!
I have been on edge for awhile, but today was really bad. I luckily had therapy and felt instantly better afterwards. The anxiety has been looming since I'm waiting on the PGS results, but it was triggered by me having to get an appointment for tomorrow last minute. I HAD to have my appointment on CD2 since I'm not doing a birth control pill protocol for this frozen cycle.
Sucks I have to do everything in preparation for the FET when there is a possibility I might not even have a normal embryo to transfer.
My therapist said to not get too caught up on the what if's and try try try to live each day out. I had stopped my Prozac too, but she said that it does help with anxiety as well as depression too.
I've had several distractions to all of this and as some people might think Thanksgiving and Christmas are stressful, I'm finding them great distractions. I've bought all my groceries for Thanksgiving and most of my Christmas gifts.
I started a Humane Society pet food drive at school and have 'adopted' a needy child for my classroom to donate gifts too.
I know it sounds corny, but I'm focusing on others because with all of this infertility shit, I feel like it's been so much about me, me, me. Not that I'm not charitable in previous years, but just that I need all of these distractions to get my mind off of the damn results!
11/21
CD2
Baseline ultrasound/bloodwork
Heavy bleeding today again
Everything was normal and I start Delestrogen IM shots tonight and every 3rd night
Provera pill
Day 5 of embryo growth
Sore: pushing to pee is still hurting
Well, they didn't call me until 4:00. I even called after school to see what was up. I was told that on biopsy days, they call later in the afternoon. Good to know now when I've been waiting all day.
My RE called and said we had 2 fully expanded blasts.
Yes, out of 12, we got 2.
I was fucking pissed. "That's it?" I asked.
He did say there are 5 that need another day to develop and I could have more.
Right now, I am so disappointed. I wasn't asking for double digits, but I was thinking 4-6 maybe from the 12.
2? Fuckkkk
I do have that other frozen, so they biopsied all 3 today.
It's such a roller coaster. I know I can stay positive and think that those 5 could add up to a few more embryos, but Jesus! I can't get over going from 12 to 2.
I took 2 Ativans when I got home. The anxiety was too much. I know next week waiting for the results is going to be hell.
I already told my husband that I'm done with IVF if all these embryos come back abnormal. I've gone back and forth about when to be done.
It is so hard to give up on your dream, but if you've tried everything you can and it doesn't work out, you need to look at other possibilities. I am totally for adoption, but my husband is not.
You must think about the future and we all do: it's easy to think what happens when shit hits the fan.
Can I really give up on IVF when I have a money back guarantee? When is enough, enough?
11/13
Provera pill
Day 6 of embryo growth
They will biopsied 4 fresh blasts and 1 frozen from the previous cycle today. They sent the cells to the IVIGEN lab in Miami.
11/14
Provera pill
11/15
Provera pill
11/16
Provera pill
11/17
Last Provera pill
11/19
I took 2 Ativans today because I was feeling really anxious thinking about when I'm going to get the call about my embryos.
So I called IVIGEN in Miami and they said they received the biopsies on Tuesday, November 18th. I assumed my clinic sent them on Friday, Nov 14th.
Anyway, IVIGEN said that the results would take 1 week. Uggghh!! The anxiety is driving me insane!
11/20
CD1
Very heavy period! Wow! I was soaking through 2 super tampons...that has NEVER happened! I always put a liner/pad under a tampon and today I was soaked through both by 11:30! Sheesh!
I have been on edge for awhile, but today was really bad. I luckily had therapy and felt instantly better afterwards. The anxiety has been looming since I'm waiting on the PGS results, but it was triggered by me having to get an appointment for tomorrow last minute. I HAD to have my appointment on CD2 since I'm not doing a birth control pill protocol for this frozen cycle.
Sucks I have to do everything in preparation for the FET when there is a possibility I might not even have a normal embryo to transfer.
My therapist said to not get too caught up on the what if's and try try try to live each day out. I had stopped my Prozac too, but she said that it does help with anxiety as well as depression too.
I've had several distractions to all of this and as some people might think Thanksgiving and Christmas are stressful, I'm finding them great distractions. I've bought all my groceries for Thanksgiving and most of my Christmas gifts.
I started a Humane Society pet food drive at school and have 'adopted' a needy child for my classroom to donate gifts too.
I know it sounds corny, but I'm focusing on others because with all of this infertility shit, I feel like it's been so much about me, me, me. Not that I'm not charitable in previous years, but just that I need all of these distractions to get my mind off of the damn results!
11/21
CD2
Baseline ultrasound/bloodwork
Heavy bleeding today again
Everything was normal and I start Delestrogen IM shots tonight and every 3rd night
11/22
Anxiety ridden!
Ativan day!
I did email my RE and asked him if he got the results this weekend, if he could email/call me. I told him I'd rather have a temper tantrum and cry at home than at school! I just don't think I can NOT stay away from my phone if I saw I had a missed call and voicemail from Shady Grove. Of course, he said he would let me know! He's the best!
So I started making hair bows cuz I figured what the hell might as well add one freaking craft to get my mind off this shit! hahahahahaha
11/23
Took 2 Ativans for anxiety! The suspense is killing me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have prepped myself for him saying there is nothing normal. I think that defense is helpful.
Anxiety ridden!
Ativan day!
I did email my RE and asked him if he got the results this weekend, if he could email/call me. I told him I'd rather have a temper tantrum and cry at home than at school! I just don't think I can NOT stay away from my phone if I saw I had a missed call and voicemail from Shady Grove. Of course, he said he would let me know! He's the best!
So I started making hair bows cuz I figured what the hell might as well add one freaking craft to get my mind off this shit! hahahahahaha
11/23
Took 2 Ativans for anxiety! The suspense is killing me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have prepped myself for him saying there is nothing normal. I think that defense is helpful.
PGS results are in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
11/24
Delestrogen IM shot
Dr. Bromer called me at school around 10:30 a.m. My heart was in my throat.
We have 1 normal embryo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was graded AA hatching blastocyst--a super high rating! I never had a hatching one! Click here to see more grading and photos.
Am I mad? HELL NO! Of course I wish there were more, but I got 1! I got 1!
Below are photos from their report.
Delestrogen IM shot
Dr. Bromer called me at school around 10:30 a.m. My heart was in my throat.
We have 1 normal embryo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was graded AA hatching blastocyst--a super high rating! I never had a hatching one! Click here to see more grading and photos.
Am I mad? HELL NO! Of course I wish there were more, but I got 1! I got 1!
Below are photos from their report.
With PGS/PGD, since chromosomes are tested, genders can be revealed. There is no truth to the fact that people say that you can't carry girls or boys.
So here are my genders for the embryos that were tested.
1 – MALE
2 – FEMALE
7 – MALE
8 – FEMALE
3F – MALE
My first 2 losses were girls. Then when I transferred 2 in July 2014, I didn't know what genders they were when I naturally misscarried.
So about the abnormalities:
The first 4 embryos are from this previous fresh cycle in November 2014. The last one labeled "3F" is from March 2014.
Humans need 46 chromosomes...23 pairs. When there are missing ones, extra ones, translocated ones, partially duplicated or deleted, (you get the idea), it's abnormal. Here's a great article about why you get abnormal embryos.
Not all abnormals lead to fatalities: the most well known abnormality is Down's Syndrome which is trisomy 21 and those individuals can lead a great life with developmental disabilities. However, there are a lot that are fatal.
Now looking at my chart, Dr. Bromer explained to me that all of these abnormalities are identified with numbers and a plus or minus. The number means which chromosome. The minus means it's missing one and the plus means there's another one.
#2 embryo was missing a chromosome from number 9, so it is called Monosomy 9.
#7 embryo was missing a chromosome from number 2, so it is called Monosomy 2. The "q" next to it means that there was a partial deletion/duplication.
#8 embryo had 2 issues: the +18 means that it had an extra chromosome on number 18. That is called a Trisomy and it was Edward's syndrome. Embryos with Edward's syndrome can be born to term, but most often are miscarried. Those born don't live past a week or a year with severe disabilities. How horrible! It had Monosomy 10 as well.
#3F embryo from my first cycle in March was missing a chromosome from number 4, so it is called Monosomy 4.
This is why testing your embryos is so important. It is NOT a guarantee, so please do not get me wrong. It is the MOST you can do to try, try, try your best for a baby that has a life free of difficulties.
I am finding out more about myself and Dr. Bromer shared that this probably explains my unexplained infertility. Women at age 32 should have about 56% abnormal embryos. My track record is 89% abnormal.
Here's my RPL history:
August 2012
April 2014 IVF #1
August 2014 FET #1
Dr. Bromer said that it is not typical to have had 9 embryos (8 IVF + 1 natural) and get 8 abnormal. That's 89% abnormal versus the embryologist quoted at 56%.
Could I have gotten pregnant before and it just never made it past 12dpo? Yeah, I guess.
Could I have never gotten pregnant because my eggs suck? Ummm, yep lol
Dr. Bromer said that we want to be positive about all of this, but I wanted know what the next step is if this embryo doesn't implant.
He said we could do one more fresh cycle with PGS then talk about other options like donor eggs or just go to donor eggs.
I know it was a ton of money, but I'm glad we tested these embryos. Could you imagine if we didn't and I put in these and had 5 miscarriages, stillbirths, or a child that didn't live past a week? Oh Jesus, just shoot me if that happened.
So here are my genders for the embryos that were tested.
1 – MALE
2 – FEMALE
7 – MALE
8 – FEMALE
3F – MALE
My first 2 losses were girls. Then when I transferred 2 in July 2014, I didn't know what genders they were when I naturally misscarried.
So about the abnormalities:
The first 4 embryos are from this previous fresh cycle in November 2014. The last one labeled "3F" is from March 2014.
Humans need 46 chromosomes...23 pairs. When there are missing ones, extra ones, translocated ones, partially duplicated or deleted, (you get the idea), it's abnormal. Here's a great article about why you get abnormal embryos.
Not all abnormals lead to fatalities: the most well known abnormality is Down's Syndrome which is trisomy 21 and those individuals can lead a great life with developmental disabilities. However, there are a lot that are fatal.
Now looking at my chart, Dr. Bromer explained to me that all of these abnormalities are identified with numbers and a plus or minus. The number means which chromosome. The minus means it's missing one and the plus means there's another one.
#2 embryo was missing a chromosome from number 9, so it is called Monosomy 9.
#7 embryo was missing a chromosome from number 2, so it is called Monosomy 2. The "q" next to it means that there was a partial deletion/duplication.
#8 embryo had 2 issues: the +18 means that it had an extra chromosome on number 18. That is called a Trisomy and it was Edward's syndrome. Embryos with Edward's syndrome can be born to term, but most often are miscarried. Those born don't live past a week or a year with severe disabilities. How horrible! It had Monosomy 10 as well.
#3F embryo from my first cycle in March was missing a chromosome from number 4, so it is called Monosomy 4.
This is why testing your embryos is so important. It is NOT a guarantee, so please do not get me wrong. It is the MOST you can do to try, try, try your best for a baby that has a life free of difficulties.
I am finding out more about myself and Dr. Bromer shared that this probably explains my unexplained infertility. Women at age 32 should have about 56% abnormal embryos. My track record is 89% abnormal.
Here's my RPL history:
August 2012
- natural pregnancy with miscarriage at 8 weeks, 2 days to Monosomy X (Turner's syndrome). Female
April 2014 IVF #1
- Transferred one---miscarriage at 7 weeks, 2 days to Trisomy 16. Female
August 2014 FET #1
- Transferred two---1 implanted then, miscarriage at 6 weeks, 1 day to unknown cause MOST likely both were abnormal embryos. Genders unknown
Dr. Bromer said that it is not typical to have had 9 embryos (8 IVF + 1 natural) and get 8 abnormal. That's 89% abnormal versus the embryologist quoted at 56%.
Could I have gotten pregnant before and it just never made it past 12dpo? Yeah, I guess.
Could I have never gotten pregnant because my eggs suck? Ummm, yep lol
Dr. Bromer said that we want to be positive about all of this, but I wanted know what the next step is if this embryo doesn't implant.
He said we could do one more fresh cycle with PGS then talk about other options like donor eggs or just go to donor eggs.
I know it was a ton of money, but I'm glad we tested these embryos. Could you imagine if we didn't and I put in these and had 5 miscarriages, stillbirths, or a child that didn't live past a week? Oh Jesus, just shoot me if that happened.
Well...I was on Cloud 9
My OB-GYN nurse called me around 3:55 p.m. I was surprised, considering it's the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. Then it hit me: I bet my pap smear results were abnormal.
Of course they were abnormal. She used the words "high risk" and "high grade". Yeah, words I don't want to hear.
Shit never goes right for me and I ALWAYS get surprised by medical news no matter what I try to prep for.
The nurse said that I have ASC-H, and need a colposcopy. She had pamphlets for me but was closing the office at 4:30. I told them I could be there and I also picked up a copy of the report.
In my past experiences, anytime you get results from your doctor, ALWAYS get the report. I figured that I could be the middle man between my OB-GYN's office and RE. I can fax it to them rather than put that on them to do.
Plus I like having the lab report to read for myself and keep for my records.
I had to stop my car when she was talking so I could take notes on my phone. All of these acronyms were ones I hadn't heard of before.
From the site, I found out more about the diagnosis of ASC-H:
"ASC–H - atypical squamous cells cannot exclude a high-grade squamous intraepithelial lesion. The cells do not appear normal, but doctors are uncertain about what the cell changes mean. ASC–H may be at higher risk of being precancerous."
WHAT???????????????????????????????????
A million things ran through my mind:
Do I have to get this before the transfer?
Can I just wait until after the baby is born in August?
Is it cancer?
Of course, its the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and here I looking at pamphlets on Abnormal Pap Test Results, and Colposcopy. FML!
I immediately went home and faxed the pap lab report and letter to Dr. Bromer. I will go on his advice and what my OB-GYN says. I want the two of them to discuss it.
I am eagerly awaiting the results for my OB-GYN will not be in until December 2nd and I know Dr. Bromer will be in sooner.
I am hoping for a call by the weekend, but at least on Monday. I don't know if this is something I have to decide right now, but boy December 10th is coming up quickly and if they want me to do this before hand, I'm thinking that I would need to move my FET back!
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Here's the lab reports:
Of course they were abnormal. She used the words "high risk" and "high grade". Yeah, words I don't want to hear.
Shit never goes right for me and I ALWAYS get surprised by medical news no matter what I try to prep for.
The nurse said that I have ASC-H, and need a colposcopy. She had pamphlets for me but was closing the office at 4:30. I told them I could be there and I also picked up a copy of the report.
In my past experiences, anytime you get results from your doctor, ALWAYS get the report. I figured that I could be the middle man between my OB-GYN's office and RE. I can fax it to them rather than put that on them to do.
Plus I like having the lab report to read for myself and keep for my records.
I had to stop my car when she was talking so I could take notes on my phone. All of these acronyms were ones I hadn't heard of before.
From the site, I found out more about the diagnosis of ASC-H:
"ASC–H - atypical squamous cells cannot exclude a high-grade squamous intraepithelial lesion. The cells do not appear normal, but doctors are uncertain about what the cell changes mean. ASC–H may be at higher risk of being precancerous."
WHAT???????????????????????????????????
A million things ran through my mind:
Do I have to get this before the transfer?
Can I just wait until after the baby is born in August?
Is it cancer?
Of course, its the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and here I looking at pamphlets on Abnormal Pap Test Results, and Colposcopy. FML!
I immediately went home and faxed the pap lab report and letter to Dr. Bromer. I will go on his advice and what my OB-GYN says. I want the two of them to discuss it.
I am eagerly awaiting the results for my OB-GYN will not be in until December 2nd and I know Dr. Bromer will be in sooner.
I am hoping for a call by the weekend, but at least on Monday. I don't know if this is something I have to decide right now, but boy December 10th is coming up quickly and if they want me to do this before hand, I'm thinking that I would need to move my FET back!
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Here's the lab reports:
Light bulb moment
After the PGS results have sunken in, I really think one kid is it for me.
I am terrified of getting pregnant without PGS testing and having another miscarriage or a child with a severe disability where they die after one week (like Trisomy 18) or have a painful life of trials and tribulations.
My husband refuses to pursue A.R.T. once we have a child. I don't blame him since it has been 6 years of hell.
I say this now, but if this normal embryo doesn't implant, I might try one more round of fresh with PGS. But that will be it. I don't know if I can go down the egg donor route yet, but who knows! I never thought I would be childless and in debt in 2014 either!
But if I do have a baby in August, I am thinking I will get my tubes tied or go on birth control.
The PGS was expensive, but boy do I feel an overwhelming sense of peace knowing the real reason as to why I cannot get pregnant: I really think its because I have an issue with my eggs or when my eggs combine with his sperm.
I asked a question on the Fertility Lab Insider website. I recommend this site to you: the embryologist responds back!
I am terrified of getting pregnant without PGS testing and having another miscarriage or a child with a severe disability where they die after one week (like Trisomy 18) or have a painful life of trials and tribulations.
My husband refuses to pursue A.R.T. once we have a child. I don't blame him since it has been 6 years of hell.
I say this now, but if this normal embryo doesn't implant, I might try one more round of fresh with PGS. But that will be it. I don't know if I can go down the egg donor route yet, but who knows! I never thought I would be childless and in debt in 2014 either!
But if I do have a baby in August, I am thinking I will get my tubes tied or go on birth control.
The PGS was expensive, but boy do I feel an overwhelming sense of peace knowing the real reason as to why I cannot get pregnant: I really think its because I have an issue with my eggs or when my eggs combine with his sperm.
I asked a question on the Fertility Lab Insider website. I recommend this site to you: the embryologist responds back!
Frozen Transfer date
12/10
Frozen embryo transfer
Even with stimming longer than anticipated, my nurse said that will not mess up my date for FET.
It is also my husband's birthday. He will be 36....and I was due with my 2nd baby on December 9. I'm really hoping that I don't have to hate December as much as I hate August and April.
Frozen embryo transfer
Even with stimming longer than anticipated, my nurse said that will not mess up my date for FET.
It is also my husband's birthday. He will be 36....and I was due with my 2nd baby on December 9. I'm really hoping that I don't have to hate December as much as I hate August and April.