What your baby needs...before they get here!
Since I had to cancel my family baby shower and was on 6 weeks of bed rest, I spent a shit ton of money on Amazon...I have Amazon Prime and couldn't resist it.
Here's an updated list of what I got: Baby registry list
I took what was my original registry list and added more stuff and comments. Hopefully it will help you before your little one arrives!
Here's an updated list of what I got: Baby registry list
I took what was my original registry list and added more stuff and comments. Hopefully it will help you before your little one arrives!
Infertiles make the Best Moms
I'm not here to brag....but what I can tell you is that infertiles and recurrent pregnancy loss couples are the BEST parents.
Not that we can buy our children everything and know exactly what they want, but that we have a different mindset than most people who didn't struggle.
We truly get that we are LUCKY to have a child.
We get frustrated like most people, but I don't think our level goes high. I hear Val cry and the first thing I do is check to see if he needs changed, burped or fed.
I don't EVER look at his crying as an annoyance...he needs me: I understand my life is different.
I get that I won't have blocks of time to cook meals, craft, work out, or clean.
I'm totally fine with that.
I will take 5 minutes, 10 minutes here and there. Shit, I use that time to nap if he's napping! When he is awake, we interact with him.
We are good parents, us strugglers, because we have been to hell and back.
We know what is it is like to NEVER get what you want it seems.
We know what it is like to feel anger, pain and sorrow when seeing other people who are pregnant.
Yep...call me whatever you want but it STILL hurts to see Facebook pregnancy announcements.
You'd think I'd just get over it...I got my baby---why do I care?
I dunno...it just feels weird to look at those and be like YAYYY!!! cuz I know that happiness can go to pieces.
That's what years and years of being beaten down and shit on do to you.
Us strugglers cry at things most people don't think are sad.
A baby hasn't changed my identity. I look at that past as shaping me...as terrible as everything was, it happened and yes it sucked. I DON'T think it "it happened for a reason". I don't believe in that shit.
It was traumatizing...it still hurts and I will never, ever, ever forget it.
I cry every day knowing that I am fortunate it worked out for me...and I'm not a sappy person.
The first few weeks with Val home were tricky for my mind because I kept calling myself "Aunt Julie" and I even called Val "Gregory"...my only nephew's name.
My mind was soooooooo used to me NOT having a child that once I got one, it was confused.
I cry when I look through photos of him on my phone...I cry when I watch the video of when I first got to hold him in the recovery room and he was crying and I was crying.
What a beautiful thing it is to be a mother, but I don't want you to feel any less a woman if you haven't gotten your child yet.
You are beautiful in that you continue to push forward and fight. Not many people our age can say that they've experienced the worst things in life and forge ahead.
Not that we can buy our children everything and know exactly what they want, but that we have a different mindset than most people who didn't struggle.
We truly get that we are LUCKY to have a child.
We get frustrated like most people, but I don't think our level goes high. I hear Val cry and the first thing I do is check to see if he needs changed, burped or fed.
I don't EVER look at his crying as an annoyance...he needs me: I understand my life is different.
I get that I won't have blocks of time to cook meals, craft, work out, or clean.
I'm totally fine with that.
I will take 5 minutes, 10 minutes here and there. Shit, I use that time to nap if he's napping! When he is awake, we interact with him.
We are good parents, us strugglers, because we have been to hell and back.
We know what is it is like to NEVER get what you want it seems.
We know what it is like to feel anger, pain and sorrow when seeing other people who are pregnant.
Yep...call me whatever you want but it STILL hurts to see Facebook pregnancy announcements.
You'd think I'd just get over it...I got my baby---why do I care?
I dunno...it just feels weird to look at those and be like YAYYY!!! cuz I know that happiness can go to pieces.
That's what years and years of being beaten down and shit on do to you.
Us strugglers cry at things most people don't think are sad.
A baby hasn't changed my identity. I look at that past as shaping me...as terrible as everything was, it happened and yes it sucked. I DON'T think it "it happened for a reason". I don't believe in that shit.
It was traumatizing...it still hurts and I will never, ever, ever forget it.
I cry every day knowing that I am fortunate it worked out for me...and I'm not a sappy person.
The first few weeks with Val home were tricky for my mind because I kept calling myself "Aunt Julie" and I even called Val "Gregory"...my only nephew's name.
My mind was soooooooo used to me NOT having a child that once I got one, it was confused.
I cry when I look through photos of him on my phone...I cry when I watch the video of when I first got to hold him in the recovery room and he was crying and I was crying.
What a beautiful thing it is to be a mother, but I don't want you to feel any less a woman if you haven't gotten your child yet.
You are beautiful in that you continue to push forward and fight. Not many people our age can say that they've experienced the worst things in life and forge ahead.
Val is 1 month old!
Holy Shitttttttttttttt!!!!!
My sister got me the big bear and I knew I wanted to put it in his monthly photos.
I got the montly stickers on Etsy.
I made the chalkboard photo on Picmonkey.com. I wasn't about to spend a shit ton of money on Etsy! It was free on that website and I simply made the resolution into an 8x10 photo and sent it to Walgreens.
It was extremely easy as well!!!!!!!!!!! Here is the tutorial I used to get started.
I even used a 40% coupon to get the photo sign print for $2.13! Awesome!! Then I just put it in a frame!
My sister got me the big bear and I knew I wanted to put it in his monthly photos.
I got the montly stickers on Etsy.
I made the chalkboard photo on Picmonkey.com. I wasn't about to spend a shit ton of money on Etsy! It was free on that website and I simply made the resolution into an 8x10 photo and sent it to Walgreens.
It was extremely easy as well!!!!!!!!!!! Here is the tutorial I used to get started.
I even used a 40% coupon to get the photo sign print for $2.13! Awesome!! Then I just put it in a frame!
Fertiles & Realizations
I'm taking off work until January. And of course with that decision, I had someone say "I bet you'll be ready to go back to work sooner than January."
Ummmmmmmmmmm FUCK NO.
Does anyone get happy about going to work in general?
Of course the person that said that was fertile. I can't take that comment as anything I SHOULD care about because I know for a fact that she has NEVER had the troubles you and I have had.
I don't want to work again. I don't want my son in daycare. I freak out if I have to leave...actually, I've become a HUGE hermit.
Val is not supposed to be in public until he gets his 2 month shots...he can get easily sick from all those random people at Walmart, etc.
I get high anxiety if I have to go to his doctor's appointments! He's only had 2 appointments at 2 weeks and 1 month, but I worry the entire 5 minute ride to get there.
Do I realize many women feel like this that haven't struggled? Well, yeah.
Do I understand that how I'm feeling is completely normal considering my past? Well, yeah.
My mom comes over to help me because my husband must continue working out of state...those $800 a month fertility loan bills aren't going to pay themselves although I am getting paid to be off, then after 36 days, I will get days at half pay...which is gonna suck, but whatever.
I want to witness everything that occurs with my son.
I want to be a stay at home mom...it's not going to happen due to finances only.
I want to switch jobs and work from home...grass is always greener of course.
I tell you this because when you have your baby, you will be the same way.
I cannot even give a fertile person an analogy like "Well, when you pay $40,000 for something after wanting it for 6 1/2 years, let me know" because to compare a child to a Cadillac would be dumb...they are worth FAR more than pieces of metal and rubber.
Ummmmmmmmmmm FUCK NO.
Does anyone get happy about going to work in general?
Of course the person that said that was fertile. I can't take that comment as anything I SHOULD care about because I know for a fact that she has NEVER had the troubles you and I have had.
I don't want to work again. I don't want my son in daycare. I freak out if I have to leave...actually, I've become a HUGE hermit.
Val is not supposed to be in public until he gets his 2 month shots...he can get easily sick from all those random people at Walmart, etc.
I get high anxiety if I have to go to his doctor's appointments! He's only had 2 appointments at 2 weeks and 1 month, but I worry the entire 5 minute ride to get there.
Do I realize many women feel like this that haven't struggled? Well, yeah.
Do I understand that how I'm feeling is completely normal considering my past? Well, yeah.
My mom comes over to help me because my husband must continue working out of state...those $800 a month fertility loan bills aren't going to pay themselves although I am getting paid to be off, then after 36 days, I will get days at half pay...which is gonna suck, but whatever.
I want to witness everything that occurs with my son.
I want to be a stay at home mom...it's not going to happen due to finances only.
I want to switch jobs and work from home...grass is always greener of course.
I tell you this because when you have your baby, you will be the same way.
I cannot even give a fertile person an analogy like "Well, when you pay $40,000 for something after wanting it for 6 1/2 years, let me know" because to compare a child to a Cadillac would be dumb...they are worth FAR more than pieces of metal and rubber.
Getting the Word Out
I get that people don't want to divulge if they are struggling or pursuing fertility treatments.
For whatever reason, yes I do. I'm not like that obviously---pretty much everyone on Earth outside of this blog knows as well.
HOWEVER, when I see celebrities being honest about it, I yearn for normal people to do the same.
Help ART become more common place in the world and less secretive!
Here's a clip from Tyra Banks' new show FABLife where her and Chrissy Teigen talk about struggling for years with infertility and how people can be so rude.
Watch this clip below...and try not to cry...it's the SAME EXACT shit you and I have heard.
For whatever reason, yes I do. I'm not like that obviously---pretty much everyone on Earth outside of this blog knows as well.
HOWEVER, when I see celebrities being honest about it, I yearn for normal people to do the same.
Help ART become more common place in the world and less secretive!
Here's a clip from Tyra Banks' new show FABLife where her and Chrissy Teigen talk about struggling for years with infertility and how people can be so rude.
Watch this clip below...and try not to cry...it's the SAME EXACT shit you and I have heard.