Finally into Val's birth month!
I can't believe it...I really can't.
After all these years and struggles, this will be the month I have a baby.
HOLY SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!
I've been trying to get things organized for his arrival, but it has been really hard being on bedrest. My husband has put together the stroller, glider swing, and rock n play.
Everything will be downstairs for who knows how long and short of my living room looking like an episode of Hoarders, I wanted things that would be okay and not make the house look junky.
He organized a kitchen cupboard for bottles and nipples even though I plan on exclusively breastfeeding for the first 6-8 weeks.
He's laundered all the 0-3 months clothes and brought down more stuff from the upstairs nursery.
He put the car seat and base in the SUV and pretty much has done practically everything else.
All of this in the 3 days he's off before heading back to Baltimore for work Monday mornings.
Here's my living room now. I'm sure things will change once I have him and recognize a set up that works best.
After all these years and struggles, this will be the month I have a baby.
HOLY SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!
I've been trying to get things organized for his arrival, but it has been really hard being on bedrest. My husband has put together the stroller, glider swing, and rock n play.
Everything will be downstairs for who knows how long and short of my living room looking like an episode of Hoarders, I wanted things that would be okay and not make the house look junky.
He organized a kitchen cupboard for bottles and nipples even though I plan on exclusively breastfeeding for the first 6-8 weeks.
He's laundered all the 0-3 months clothes and brought down more stuff from the upstairs nursery.
He put the car seat and base in the SUV and pretty much has done practically everything else.
All of this in the 3 days he's off before heading back to Baltimore for work Monday mornings.
Here's my living room now. I'm sure things will change once I have him and recognize a set up that works best.
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Things I had to buy...or at least I bought since I had time off and I love Amazon Prime!
I had done a lot of research on most of these things since well, I have the time to do so! I highly recommend reading comments on Amazon and focusing on things that get a 4 out of 5 rating or higher.
I had done a lot of research on most of these things since well, I have the time to do so! I highly recommend reading comments on Amazon and focusing on things that get a 4 out of 5 rating or higher.
- Small bookshelf: Technically, this is considered a multimedia tower, but for baby books, it can be adjusted with those pegs. We had a smaller spot, so I couldn't get anything bigger and turned it sideways.
- SwaddleMe velcro swaddling blankets: Since I had hip dysplasia, I DO NOT want Val to get it and wrapping him in a regular swaddling blanket freaks me the fuck out. If you make it too tight, you risk dislocating your baby's hips or causing hip dysplasia. Now, I was never swaddled and developed bilateral hip dysplasia by the age of 8 according to my orthopedic surgeon. And since that has caused me much pain and suffering, I wouldn't want him to have it if I can prevent it from possibly occurring!
- Hands-free pumping bra: I got size L-Plus and must say the bra is comfortable and big enough for my wide back. It has this huge velcro strip in the back instead of traditional eyelet and hooks. It use the straps too.
- Bottle cleaning brush: A little more money than most, but the comments and ratings were 100% positive and the little cleaning parts brushes come in handy for nooks and crannies.
- Car Window Shades: We have factory tint on our windows, but I bought these anyways. Not sure if they'll make it more dark or what, but I can always give them to my mom since a pack of 3 cost $10.
- Disposable under pads: These are for the changing station part of the pack n play. My sister used them and I don't know if she read on a blog to get them, but they provide an additional layer of pee/poop protection. Most people use them as doggie pee pads.
- OXO Perfect Pull Wipes dispenser: I know you're thinking, a frigging wipes container? But from what I've researched, this dispenser saves you from a middle of the night, poopy fingers, fumbling with a wipes container that won't open or have the wipes get easily pulled out. I like things that save me from frustration, because I get frustrated very easily!
- Lanisonh Breastmilk storage bags: Again, another highly researched thing because most other brands bags either leak, don't lay flat for freezing, or don't hold much.
- Bath water thermometer: Now, I did see that someone bought me it from my registry, but since I didn't have a shower to get it, I had to buy something. I read that you only bath newborns 1-2 times a week due to dry skin and you have to sponge bath them, but I needed something to make sure the water temp was okay.
- Boppy Water Resistant Cover: I bought my Boppy at Marshall's...it's like TJ Maxx where they have random stuff for cheaper prices. It was only $25 and came with a slipcover. This slipcover is supposed to be water resistant, so the pee or spit up doesn't soak through to the pillow. We'll see I guess.
Things I bought from Target only because I had Target gift cards from school:
- Nose Frida nasal aspirator: My husband hates this. He grew up with severe ear and hearing issues and he still struggles with his hearing. You don't put the tube up in the baby's nose, but he thinks it's a bad idea.
- Washcloths and Hooded Towels: Just looked again at the comments. Towels are towels in my opinion.
- 4 sided changing pad and cover: I plan on using this upstairs, but I had the need for it, so I got it.
- Rectal thermometer: I hate having the need to put something in my baby's butt, but that's the best way to determine his true temperature.
- Pack n Play sheets: Even though my pack n play is not a Graco pack n play, these sheets still fit the little mattress.
Things that I bought second hand or were giving to me:
One of my friends was done having kids and in March offered to give me a SHIT ton of things for $100. I was thrilled to get stuff at such an amazing price. I washed the Pack n Play in the tub like this tutorial and the water was crystal clear!
Now for some things it is not recommended you receive as hand me downs like a crib for example. My mother bought my crib, mattress, and mattress pad all for under $200 on Amazon.
And looking back now, I was smart to have gotten the stuff from her early, washed, and figured out.
Since my sister had my nephew, she's given me a ton of stuff too.
Here's what I've gotten:
One of my friends was done having kids and in March offered to give me a SHIT ton of things for $100. I was thrilled to get stuff at such an amazing price. I washed the Pack n Play in the tub like this tutorial and the water was crystal clear!
Now for some things it is not recommended you receive as hand me downs like a crib for example. My mother bought my crib, mattress, and mattress pad all for under $200 on Amazon.
And looking back now, I was smart to have gotten the stuff from her early, washed, and figured out.
Since my sister had my nephew, she's given me a ton of stuff too.
Here's what I've gotten:
- TONS of clothes in all sizes, seasons, and kinds
- Super Yard
- Pack n Play (Target's Baby Trend nursery center)
- Matching High Chair
- Tub with newborn insert
- Bouncer
- Walker--practically new my friend said her son hated it
- Hooded Towels & washcloths
- Burp Cloths, Bibs, and Blankets
- Extra Pump accesories
- Bottles & Nipples
- Socks, shoes, and hats
- Books
Anxiety
To say this pregnancy has been anxiety ridden from the start is an understatement. Even when things were totally normal up until week 31, I learned again how quickly things can turn.
I'd like to lie and tell you that I've been anxiety free for weeks...but you know that is bullshit. Everyone telling me it's "gonna be okay" just makes me madder. I know they're trying to be positive, but no one has a crystal ball.
I must admit that I've been using the fetal doppler my sister gave me more often. If I don't feel him move, I use it. Everytime, his heartbeat is there, but I know just because a heart beat is there doesn't mean that he isn't having issues.
Recently, I hadn't felt him move for about an hour and a half and I did the doppler and the heartbeat was there. I ate food and walked around and that didn't make him move. I waited another 30 minutes and then I thought I felt him move, but at that point my mind thought it was mistaken.
I called the maternity floor and they were more than happy to have me come in to do a non-stress test. Of course, everything was fine and he was moving, I just couldn't feel it. Then after 10 minutes of being on the monitors, I was able to feel bigger movements.
This anxiety is hell....constant worrying and I get that it won't go away, but at least it will be transitioned into a live being in my arms that I can better control. Because I cannot control the placenta detaching, his abdominal circumference not increasing, thinking I don't feel him move, puking, etc, I have been going crazy....really, really crazy.
I threw up again after eating cereal and OJ. My OB said it's due to him growing and reflux. I've been feeling sick during the day after I eat or if I don't eat quickly. I eat small meals and spread out my pills so I don't take them all at once.
I'm really trying to focus on one day at time still.
I'd like to lie and tell you that I've been anxiety free for weeks...but you know that is bullshit. Everyone telling me it's "gonna be okay" just makes me madder. I know they're trying to be positive, but no one has a crystal ball.
I must admit that I've been using the fetal doppler my sister gave me more often. If I don't feel him move, I use it. Everytime, his heartbeat is there, but I know just because a heart beat is there doesn't mean that he isn't having issues.
Recently, I hadn't felt him move for about an hour and a half and I did the doppler and the heartbeat was there. I ate food and walked around and that didn't make him move. I waited another 30 minutes and then I thought I felt him move, but at that point my mind thought it was mistaken.
I called the maternity floor and they were more than happy to have me come in to do a non-stress test. Of course, everything was fine and he was moving, I just couldn't feel it. Then after 10 minutes of being on the monitors, I was able to feel bigger movements.
This anxiety is hell....constant worrying and I get that it won't go away, but at least it will be transitioned into a live being in my arms that I can better control. Because I cannot control the placenta detaching, his abdominal circumference not increasing, thinking I don't feel him move, puking, etc, I have been going crazy....really, really crazy.
I threw up again after eating cereal and OJ. My OB said it's due to him growing and reflux. I've been feeling sick during the day after I eat or if I don't eat quickly. I eat small meals and spread out my pills so I don't take them all at once.
I'm really trying to focus on one day at time still.
Diaper Bag packing list
I don't plan on bringing my diaper bag to the hospital because they have all that shit there. But since babies need doctor's appointments after birth, I might as well organize the bag now.
Again, I looked online at blogs and Pinterest to combine several lists to find a universal list.
I got the Skip Hop Dash Messenger Diaper bag from my baby shower at work. Looking back, I think backpack diaper bags are smarter and I ended up buying one of those too. I figured my husband can use it. Backpacks just help keep both hands free cuz messenger style ones slid off your shoulders.
I've listed things that both he and I need. I don't plan on carrying a purse too. That would be too many things.
I did read that some people like to put stuff in their trunk just in case so instead of running home, they can run to the trunk.
Here's what I'm adding inside:
Again, I looked online at blogs and Pinterest to combine several lists to find a universal list.
I got the Skip Hop Dash Messenger Diaper bag from my baby shower at work. Looking back, I think backpack diaper bags are smarter and I ended up buying one of those too. I figured my husband can use it. Backpacks just help keep both hands free cuz messenger style ones slid off your shoulders.
I've listed things that both he and I need. I don't plan on carrying a purse too. That would be too many things.
I did read that some people like to put stuff in their trunk just in case so instead of running home, they can run to the trunk.
Here's what I'm adding inside:
- Hand sanitizer
- Diapers
- Diaper Cream
- Bib
- Wipes
- Travel Changing Pad--this diaper bag has one, I saw someone bought me the matching one I registered for
- Poopy diaper bags---using doggy poop bags cuz I have them and they're cheaper
- Blanket
- Extra clothes
- Tissues
- Nursing Pads
- Nursing Cover
- Toys
- Wallet
- Keys
- Cell
- Chapstick
- Gum
- Shirt for me to change into if he pukes, pees, or poops on me
Tomorrow's the Day!
Today was the last day I will sleep in...probably forever!
I got up and went to the hospital to do the pre-surgery bloodwork and urine sample. Everyone at the hospital in pre-admissions was so nice to me.
It really is nice to go somewhere that welcomes you and genuinely seems happy for you. The woman that I talked to on the phone last week, came into the lab to meet me. She had to type in all my previous surgical history and current history, so she knew everything I went through.
Little things I have to do today include packing up my bags, sterilizing the breast pump before use, reading the pump instruction booklet, and getting my iPhone photos onto my computer....cuz I know I'll be taking a shit ton of pics.
All of this happiness is masked too by anxiety...lately, I have been thinking that things might go wrong.
My dream is coming true in less than 20 hours and I can only think shit could hit the fan.
It's so fucked up.....99% of pregnancies get babies...why am I thinking I won't? Well, it's because I've experienced the worst things in life and some of the most random things without a predisposition.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tomorrow is going to be full of emotions...even today I have already cried.
I go tonight for my last non-stress test and then tomorrow I will be back on the maternity floor getting set up for the C-section.
I had an appointment with my OB on Tuesday and we went over the surgery.
She explained that I will be given pain meds intravenously and then after a day or two I think, she will switch to Percocet and give me a script for it too
The total recovery time is 8 weeks and I can drive after 2 weeks. Which is good because my photographer said she wants to do photos around 2 weeks. She's expensive, but I've seen the photos she did for a friend of mine and they are beautiful...plus you get the CD.
I also asked my OB if she could do something about my abnormal pap from December, but she cannot. She said to do a biopsy would be crazy cuz there would be WAY too much bleeding. She said you bleed a shit ton. Hey, I was just trying to get it down while I was numb from the waist down! I was trying to avoid getting little scissors in my va-jay jay in the office!!
I am 100% positive I do not want to get pregnant again. She mentioned that I should just get back on the pill since my periods are not heavy. I have toyed with getting my tubes cauterized, but she said at this point now, go on the pills. I could try the Depo shot and then if I didn't like it, I could go on pills. But all of this could start 6-8 weeks after surgery.
I asked her too about visitors...we are deathly afraid of Val getting sick. She said my pediatrician will say 2 months is when you can bring him out in public because he'll get his shots then. If we are doing a "meet the baby" shower before 2 months, she said to bring Val out at the end and don't pass him around.
She is going to have the pediatrician be in the operating room because since it is 3 weeks early, she wants to make sure everything is okay with Val. The hospital can do oxygen and a feeding tube, but cannot do a ventilator. The odds that he'll need a ventilator are low since I already had the Celestone shots, but I am prepared that he could need to get life-flighted away.
My belly bump is flat lol and I asked her about that too: it's from the shape of my uterus and the way the baby is laying. It's so flat I can stand against a wall perfectly.
I got up and went to the hospital to do the pre-surgery bloodwork and urine sample. Everyone at the hospital in pre-admissions was so nice to me.
It really is nice to go somewhere that welcomes you and genuinely seems happy for you. The woman that I talked to on the phone last week, came into the lab to meet me. She had to type in all my previous surgical history and current history, so she knew everything I went through.
Little things I have to do today include packing up my bags, sterilizing the breast pump before use, reading the pump instruction booklet, and getting my iPhone photos onto my computer....cuz I know I'll be taking a shit ton of pics.
All of this happiness is masked too by anxiety...lately, I have been thinking that things might go wrong.
My dream is coming true in less than 20 hours and I can only think shit could hit the fan.
It's so fucked up.....99% of pregnancies get babies...why am I thinking I won't? Well, it's because I've experienced the worst things in life and some of the most random things without a predisposition.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tomorrow is going to be full of emotions...even today I have already cried.
I go tonight for my last non-stress test and then tomorrow I will be back on the maternity floor getting set up for the C-section.
I had an appointment with my OB on Tuesday and we went over the surgery.
She explained that I will be given pain meds intravenously and then after a day or two I think, she will switch to Percocet and give me a script for it too
The total recovery time is 8 weeks and I can drive after 2 weeks. Which is good because my photographer said she wants to do photos around 2 weeks. She's expensive, but I've seen the photos she did for a friend of mine and they are beautiful...plus you get the CD.
I also asked my OB if she could do something about my abnormal pap from December, but she cannot. She said to do a biopsy would be crazy cuz there would be WAY too much bleeding. She said you bleed a shit ton. Hey, I was just trying to get it down while I was numb from the waist down! I was trying to avoid getting little scissors in my va-jay jay in the office!!
I am 100% positive I do not want to get pregnant again. She mentioned that I should just get back on the pill since my periods are not heavy. I have toyed with getting my tubes cauterized, but she said at this point now, go on the pills. I could try the Depo shot and then if I didn't like it, I could go on pills. But all of this could start 6-8 weeks after surgery.
I asked her too about visitors...we are deathly afraid of Val getting sick. She said my pediatrician will say 2 months is when you can bring him out in public because he'll get his shots then. If we are doing a "meet the baby" shower before 2 months, she said to bring Val out at the end and don't pass him around.
She is going to have the pediatrician be in the operating room because since it is 3 weeks early, she wants to make sure everything is okay with Val. The hospital can do oxygen and a feeding tube, but cannot do a ventilator. The odds that he'll need a ventilator are low since I already had the Celestone shots, but I am prepared that he could need to get life-flighted away.
My belly bump is flat lol and I asked her about that too: it's from the shape of my uterus and the way the baby is laying. It's so flat I can stand against a wall perfectly.
He's finally here!
I'm sorry it took me so long to update: I cannot update from my phone...only laptop.
Val Joseph was born on Thursday, August 6th at 8:47 a.m. and was 7.08 lbs and 19.5 inches! He has dark blue eyes and a full head of dark brown hair!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh... of course we love him!!
Val Joseph was born on Thursday, August 6th at 8:47 a.m. and was 7.08 lbs and 19.5 inches! He has dark blue eyes and a full head of dark brown hair!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh... of course we love him!!
We've waited almost three thousand excruciating days
To get a child in our arms in a gamut of different ways:
Through countless shots, and scars, and tears, and surgeries I needed
We cried, we wished, we begged, we dreamed, we hoped, and we pleaded.
Three times we smiled and naively thought this roller coaster was done
But pain, and grief, and anger, showed our ride had only just begun.
With science, determination, love and an athletes' drive inside
Our mantra became "NEVER give up" in the long 6.5 years we tried.
Spending on this goal has cost more than car or SUV,
However, money spent meant nothing with a little baby inside of me.
I valued what I had achieved and I never once forgot
Like a solider home from war with memories of battles that were fought
I'd smile, and laugh, and joke, and returned to my original self,
But in the back of my mind I ALWAYS knew history could repeat itself.
Anxiety and thoughts of losing loomed over me like a black cloud,
The little voice inside my head whispered and did it get loud:
"Don't give up on hope no matter all the pain you have endured!"
But, as you know, guarantees in life are never totally assured.
Each day I grew closer to the goal of a live baby in my hand
What bruised and battered me was this reality could be fantasy land.
We march on like veteran soldiers in a never ending war
Against infertility and pregnancy loss, the fighting develops us more.
While others are never subject to such hurt, anxiety, or sorrow:
We understand how fast life today can be different than tomorrow.
I tell you this for I need you to try your best to understand,
Each day many people fight these wars while you gaze from "Happyland."
Have compassion and kindness when seeing a childless couple walk by
For the reasons they don't have any kids might just make you cry.
Eleven surgeries have cut my body and healed it with many scars
The three ones on my heart are the longest and most painful by far.
We will never forget our past as we fight to see ahead
A baby in my arms and the roller coaster's end.
If you've never struggled in pursuit to have a child, oh I'm jealous
To always have holidays with children and feel the merry in Christmas.
I've been formed and shaped by these all painful memories so far,
I hope that you're never go through it: an always prominent scar.
The past cannot be erased I know, I've tried to move on.
And today, I can tell you we've finally won.
With this baby boy, I've earned pregnancy number four,
And he's finally in my arms...we shut infertility's door.
To get a child in our arms in a gamut of different ways:
Through countless shots, and scars, and tears, and surgeries I needed
We cried, we wished, we begged, we dreamed, we hoped, and we pleaded.
Three times we smiled and naively thought this roller coaster was done
But pain, and grief, and anger, showed our ride had only just begun.
With science, determination, love and an athletes' drive inside
Our mantra became "NEVER give up" in the long 6.5 years we tried.
Spending on this goal has cost more than car or SUV,
However, money spent meant nothing with a little baby inside of me.
I valued what I had achieved and I never once forgot
Like a solider home from war with memories of battles that were fought
I'd smile, and laugh, and joke, and returned to my original self,
But in the back of my mind I ALWAYS knew history could repeat itself.
Anxiety and thoughts of losing loomed over me like a black cloud,
The little voice inside my head whispered and did it get loud:
"Don't give up on hope no matter all the pain you have endured!"
But, as you know, guarantees in life are never totally assured.
Each day I grew closer to the goal of a live baby in my hand
What bruised and battered me was this reality could be fantasy land.
We march on like veteran soldiers in a never ending war
Against infertility and pregnancy loss, the fighting develops us more.
While others are never subject to such hurt, anxiety, or sorrow:
We understand how fast life today can be different than tomorrow.
I tell you this for I need you to try your best to understand,
Each day many people fight these wars while you gaze from "Happyland."
Have compassion and kindness when seeing a childless couple walk by
For the reasons they don't have any kids might just make you cry.
Eleven surgeries have cut my body and healed it with many scars
The three ones on my heart are the longest and most painful by far.
We will never forget our past as we fight to see ahead
A baby in my arms and the roller coaster's end.
If you've never struggled in pursuit to have a child, oh I'm jealous
To always have holidays with children and feel the merry in Christmas.
I've been formed and shaped by these all painful memories so far,
I hope that you're never go through it: an always prominent scar.
The past cannot be erased I know, I've tried to move on.
And today, I can tell you we've finally won.
With this baby boy, I've earned pregnancy number four,
And he's finally in my arms...we shut infertility's door.
The Delivery Experience
I had to be at the maternity floor at 5 am for 8 am C-section. I didn't feel sick, but I ended up throwing up twice when I got to my hospital room. I felt better after I threw up and I think it was due to my subconscious nerves.
Besides filling out paperwork and getting the IVs, etc, we had to watch a 10 minute video on Shaken Baby Syndrome. Jesus Christ, let me tell you that was the WORST FUCKING video to ever watch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was real people who had their children or grandchildren shaken and the repercussions involved. I fucking cried and cried...plugged my ears like a toddler and looked away. It was IMPOSSIBLE to watch that and not feel emotional.
I had shaved up my va-jay-jay area and the nurses shaved up the area more...I guess with my belly, I missed spots. They and I both did this because of the incision.
Most of the time spent was filling out the paperwork: newspaper announcement and other miscellaneous shit.
Around 7:50 am, they took my husband and me in the bed down to the OR. I explained my surgical history to the anesthesiologist and told him I wanted anti-nausea stuff. He didn't want to give me any for some reason even though I persisted and asked several times. He ended up mumbling something about "taking care of nausea if it occurs". I don't think he wanted to add in extra meds, but it wasn't like I was asking for anything else!
He also wanted to add in 2nd IV to my other hand...I dreaded that because they have a hard time finding veins without hitting valves. Luckily, the nurse got it in quickly.
My doctor came in around 8:25 and spoke with us. The mood was light and I wasn't nervous.
Once in the operating room, I was VERY NERVOUS.
Every other surgery I've had, I've been out immediately. It was weird to walk in and not get the mask on to count backwards.
I sat on the table and of course, it was extremely cold and I was shivering like it was Antarctica. The nurse anesthetist told me it was from hormones and the meds. I was chattering my teeth too!
I had to swing my legs over the table and place my head into the breast of a nurse, so the anesthesiologist could do the spinal. It felt like knuckles in my back forever and I ended up asking if he had made any injections because it was very uncomfortable. I had gotten spinals before with my hip surgeries, but this time it seemed sooooooooo prolonged.
All that leaning over the side with my head into her chest made me start to feel sick and I told them I felt like I was gonna puke. They said kept saying "breathe...you're too tense", but it was very hard to loosen up with those knuckles in your back and feeling like you were gonna puke!!
So, they finally gave me anti-nausea meds and then I felt the pricks of the numbing shots in my back before the spinal was done. Once the spinal was done, it's pretty immediate you start to lose feeling in your legs. They had to help swing my legs up over the table to lay flat on my back.
My arms were strapped down as if crucified and after another longer period of time (it seemed), my husband was allowed to come in around 8:41 am.
He had to wear all the scrubs and hats and stuff. He held my hand and then I heard my doctor come in. They explained that I wouldn't feel anything, but would feel sensations like tugging.
Oh ok...I thought...then when they said "tugging", they meant "TUGGGGGGINNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG!" My body was jolting side to side and it was pretty intense.
I asked the nurse anesthetist if I was cut open and she said yes.
All of a sudden, I felt the urge to really cry...and cry.
Then it seemed like 1 minute later, Val was out! It was 8:47 a.m. and all the operating room nurses said "Awwww!" and all I did was cry and cry! I could hear him cry too and it made me cry even more.
I still couldn't see anything going on because they had a sheet draped across my body to block the operation.
My OB lifted Val over the sheeet and I saw him...I saw his full head of dark hair and I kept on crying.
It was sooooooo emotional!!
They took him away quickly to get him cleaned up, weighed, and other things I imagine.
They took Val out and my husband went too. My OB continued to sew me up and talk to me. It's weird thing to lay there and know you're getting surgery and talk, but not feel pain.
I left the OR around 9:45 a.m. and was wheeled to the maternity floor recovery room.
They had Val already in there with my mom, dad, and husband. He was getting a Vitamin K and Hepatitis B shot. They pricked his foot to check his blood.
I kept on crying when I was with him in the recovery room. I cannot wait for you to feel the same joy that I did: I couldn't truly believe that I was holding a baby in my arms. It didn't seem real at all.
Val latched on right away to both of my nipples and nursed easily. I was worried breast feeding might be too hard and my expectations were low. I believe that helped me not get frustrated quickly.
My husband took tons of photos and a video of me holding Val. I continue to watch that video and it brings me to instant tears every time.
As far as the C-section, I must admit I wasn't afraid of the C section at all...and I was right! It has been extremely easy to recover from. I literally have had no problems...besides a weird, abnormal reaction:
The C-section was on Thursday and late Saturday night (technically Sunday morning), I started dry heaving. No throwing up, but consecutive 3-4 heaves.
I ended up heaving that night and throwing up a little bit of fluid. Same thing happened on Monday. I called my OB and she prescribed Zolfran to take.
It did nothing. I would dissolve the tablet on my tongue and heave right after....then heave again a few hours later. I started to puke more often, but each time it was just about 2-3 tablespoons of water.
The heaving was when I was lifting Val and it was awful because I had no control over the aggressiveness of the heaving and felt like he was going to fall out of my arms. I'd put him down in the pack n play quickly and run to the toilet thinking I was going to puke.
Tuesday morning, I called the OB again and they said it was completely ABNORMAL to have dry heaving and vomiting this far from the surgery.. especially since I was not any pain meds. I mean nothing happened until 4 days after.
She wanted me to go to the ER...I cried and cried because I was only breastfeeding. It is recommended you breastfeed exclusively (no bottles) for 3 weeks to establish it and avoid nipple confusion.
My OB scared me into thinking there could be something wayyyyyyy more serious going on and even though I wanted to find out why I was heaving, I really didn't want to leave Val.
My mom was home to help me so she was able to take care of him. I asked my neighbor to take me to the ER and I spent 3 hours there. They gave me fluids, IV of Zolfran, and checked my blood....nothing abnormal came up, so I went home.
I dry heaved a few hours later and that was the last time I heaved/vomited. I've been fine ever since. Weird!
My OB had no idea what happened and I can only assume it was from not getting the anti-nausea stuff sooner pre-surgery.
Besides filling out paperwork and getting the IVs, etc, we had to watch a 10 minute video on Shaken Baby Syndrome. Jesus Christ, let me tell you that was the WORST FUCKING video to ever watch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was real people who had their children or grandchildren shaken and the repercussions involved. I fucking cried and cried...plugged my ears like a toddler and looked away. It was IMPOSSIBLE to watch that and not feel emotional.
I had shaved up my va-jay-jay area and the nurses shaved up the area more...I guess with my belly, I missed spots. They and I both did this because of the incision.
Most of the time spent was filling out the paperwork: newspaper announcement and other miscellaneous shit.
Around 7:50 am, they took my husband and me in the bed down to the OR. I explained my surgical history to the anesthesiologist and told him I wanted anti-nausea stuff. He didn't want to give me any for some reason even though I persisted and asked several times. He ended up mumbling something about "taking care of nausea if it occurs". I don't think he wanted to add in extra meds, but it wasn't like I was asking for anything else!
He also wanted to add in 2nd IV to my other hand...I dreaded that because they have a hard time finding veins without hitting valves. Luckily, the nurse got it in quickly.
My doctor came in around 8:25 and spoke with us. The mood was light and I wasn't nervous.
Once in the operating room, I was VERY NERVOUS.
Every other surgery I've had, I've been out immediately. It was weird to walk in and not get the mask on to count backwards.
I sat on the table and of course, it was extremely cold and I was shivering like it was Antarctica. The nurse anesthetist told me it was from hormones and the meds. I was chattering my teeth too!
I had to swing my legs over the table and place my head into the breast of a nurse, so the anesthesiologist could do the spinal. It felt like knuckles in my back forever and I ended up asking if he had made any injections because it was very uncomfortable. I had gotten spinals before with my hip surgeries, but this time it seemed sooooooooo prolonged.
All that leaning over the side with my head into her chest made me start to feel sick and I told them I felt like I was gonna puke. They said kept saying "breathe...you're too tense", but it was very hard to loosen up with those knuckles in your back and feeling like you were gonna puke!!
So, they finally gave me anti-nausea meds and then I felt the pricks of the numbing shots in my back before the spinal was done. Once the spinal was done, it's pretty immediate you start to lose feeling in your legs. They had to help swing my legs up over the table to lay flat on my back.
My arms were strapped down as if crucified and after another longer period of time (it seemed), my husband was allowed to come in around 8:41 am.
He had to wear all the scrubs and hats and stuff. He held my hand and then I heard my doctor come in. They explained that I wouldn't feel anything, but would feel sensations like tugging.
Oh ok...I thought...then when they said "tugging", they meant "TUGGGGGGINNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG!" My body was jolting side to side and it was pretty intense.
I asked the nurse anesthetist if I was cut open and she said yes.
All of a sudden, I felt the urge to really cry...and cry.
Then it seemed like 1 minute later, Val was out! It was 8:47 a.m. and all the operating room nurses said "Awwww!" and all I did was cry and cry! I could hear him cry too and it made me cry even more.
I still couldn't see anything going on because they had a sheet draped across my body to block the operation.
My OB lifted Val over the sheeet and I saw him...I saw his full head of dark hair and I kept on crying.
It was sooooooo emotional!!
They took him away quickly to get him cleaned up, weighed, and other things I imagine.
They took Val out and my husband went too. My OB continued to sew me up and talk to me. It's weird thing to lay there and know you're getting surgery and talk, but not feel pain.
I left the OR around 9:45 a.m. and was wheeled to the maternity floor recovery room.
They had Val already in there with my mom, dad, and husband. He was getting a Vitamin K and Hepatitis B shot. They pricked his foot to check his blood.
I kept on crying when I was with him in the recovery room. I cannot wait for you to feel the same joy that I did: I couldn't truly believe that I was holding a baby in my arms. It didn't seem real at all.
Val latched on right away to both of my nipples and nursed easily. I was worried breast feeding might be too hard and my expectations were low. I believe that helped me not get frustrated quickly.
My husband took tons of photos and a video of me holding Val. I continue to watch that video and it brings me to instant tears every time.
As far as the C-section, I must admit I wasn't afraid of the C section at all...and I was right! It has been extremely easy to recover from. I literally have had no problems...besides a weird, abnormal reaction:
The C-section was on Thursday and late Saturday night (technically Sunday morning), I started dry heaving. No throwing up, but consecutive 3-4 heaves.
I ended up heaving that night and throwing up a little bit of fluid. Same thing happened on Monday. I called my OB and she prescribed Zolfran to take.
It did nothing. I would dissolve the tablet on my tongue and heave right after....then heave again a few hours later. I started to puke more often, but each time it was just about 2-3 tablespoons of water.
The heaving was when I was lifting Val and it was awful because I had no control over the aggressiveness of the heaving and felt like he was going to fall out of my arms. I'd put him down in the pack n play quickly and run to the toilet thinking I was going to puke.
Tuesday morning, I called the OB again and they said it was completely ABNORMAL to have dry heaving and vomiting this far from the surgery.. especially since I was not any pain meds. I mean nothing happened until 4 days after.
She wanted me to go to the ER...I cried and cried because I was only breastfeeding. It is recommended you breastfeed exclusively (no bottles) for 3 weeks to establish it and avoid nipple confusion.
My OB scared me into thinking there could be something wayyyyyyy more serious going on and even though I wanted to find out why I was heaving, I really didn't want to leave Val.
My mom was home to help me so she was able to take care of him. I asked my neighbor to take me to the ER and I spent 3 hours there. They gave me fluids, IV of Zolfran, and checked my blood....nothing abnormal came up, so I went home.
I dry heaved a few hours later and that was the last time I heaved/vomited. I've been fine ever since. Weird!
My OB had no idea what happened and I can only assume it was from not getting the anti-nausea stuff sooner pre-surgery.